One of the pieces of advice I come across quite often - now that I’m 41 and exploring self-help-type texts with openminded curiosity, admitting that this genre I once treated with unchecked derision might actually contain some gems of wisdom - is that it’s helpful to write a “gratitude journal.”

Despite my new respect for the world of empowering advice, I cannot get behind this one.

A gratitude journal? It’s a great idea, don’t get me wrong. I hope you guys are all doing it. But for me? I don’t know. First of all, I haven’t written a private journal entry since around my early 20s, because I started writing this blog and sharing all my thoughts with you guys, whether you wanted to hear them or not.

Secondly, I am pretty sure if I tried, it would very quickly unravel into my using the experience to generate story ideas. “Dear journal. I am grateful for my children’s wicked fights and name-calling because it teaches me to be a better - WAIT A SEC WHAT ABOUT A STORY ON FIVE-YEAR-OLDS WHO HAVE ESSENTIALLY CREATED THEIR OWN DICTIONARY OF MADE-UP CURSE WORDS?”

(Or, it might unravel into my staring at a blank page followed by my thinking, “Do you know what would be more fun than this right now?” then deciding to treat myself to a super early bedtime, getting into PJs, and turning my current favorite show, “Schitt’s Creek.” Which I am thankful for, by the way.)

So a true gratitude journal is probably not in the cards for me. However, I decided I would take these weeks leading up to Thanksgiving to share a few posts about things I’m grateful for.

I decided that for this exercise, I’d leave out the things I’m most grateful for - the obvious ones - my family and friends; my healthy kids and my supportive husband. That I’d focus instead on the way I spend my days beyond all that.

I thought this would be especially meaningful for me because - as you know - I’ve been exploring a lot of “challenges” lately on this blog. Stuff that’s bothering me. Aspects of life I want to improve upon. Complaining, you guys. What I’ve been doing is complaining.

I put that word - challenges - in quotes because I do think that expressing thanks can help you see conflicts and roadblocks in a different light. Especially when you’re a very lucky person to begin with and your “challenges” aren’t super challenging.

That’s why, in this first post, I want to write about why I’m thankful that my career allows me to have unstructured days.

Wait. Wasn’t I just whining about my unstructured days? I was! I was saying, and I continue to say to anyone who asks, that, yes, freelance writing is great because I have control over my work - when I do it and how much I take on - but that I often get lonely working at home, and that I sometimes struggle without the the daily schedule and creative inpsiration a traditional office can provide. That it’s a bit of a hustle to continually pitch stories to people so that I’ll have enough of a workload and that someday I’d like to be attached to a publication as a regular staff writer for both the security and camaraderie.

However!

There are a lot of obvious, and also less obvious, perks to my current, very flexible state of affairs and I don’t revel in those nearly as often as I should. So I’m going to do that!

Nora recently asked me if I stay home all day and watch “The Golden Girls.” And I was, of course, immediately like, “What?!” And then very quickly also like, “That sounds awesome.” She was kidding - I mean I THINK - but I took the time to explain to her that although I stay home to do a lot of my writing, I still do it. I also interview people in person and by phone, attend events and conduct research. If I needed a day to stay home and watch “Golden Girls” all day, though, I could. And listen, we all should exercise that right from time to time. But the ease with which this could be my reality, as well as the lack of a boss to whom I would have to lie about it, is something I’m truly thankful for.
For the most part I can attend school assemblies, volunteer to chaperone trips, walk my chlldren to and from school, take them to doctor’s appointments and get them to other activities with total ease. I am not saying this stuff is easy; taking care of kids is hard, and Aidy regularly reminds me of this, like when I tried to put a cute cardigan over her dress the other day before kindergarten and she told me I was “ruining her life.” But seriously, working for myself on a flexible daily schedule is something I’m beyond appreciative for at this point in our lives.
I can work with the impeachment hearings on mute in the background, or, let’s be honest, not on mute, while constantly texting politically-minded friends one million comments adorned with an excessive and in-other-circumstances totally unacceptable amount of exclamation-points.
My schedule means I get to do very fun things like appear on the radio sometimes or catch up with a friend, without having to ask someone if I’m allowed to take that time off or make arrangements.
I get to work in my bed sometimes. It’s not a good idea and I very rarely do it! But, technically speaking, I can complete the duties required of me from my bed. With the covers on. Again, I don’t recommend this for maximum productivity. But we are talking about being grateful here and I would be remiss if I didn’t point it out!
When I want to be with people, I can hit up a variety of local coffee shops and benefit from the company of others. This is a great tool for me, as I often make a silent deal with myself: “You can’t go home until you finish X.” Usually, this works! (this does NOT work so much in the bed situation mentioned above).
Because of the lack of schedule, I’ve gotten really good at scheduling my days and this is a valuable skill. Even on the days without appointments, I try to write down how I’ll spend my time in my paper planner - (i.e. 9 am-11 am finish story; 1 pm - 2 pm, answer emails). I used to think this was silly - forcing scheduled blocks rather than letting my day progress organcally. It’s so incredibly helpful, it turns out, and failing to do it has real consequences. I didn’t do it today and I found myself searching job sites and considering being a professional resume writer full-time. I had to reel myself back into focus quick.
I’m in charge. This one has been so hard for me to grasp, but grasping it is really empowering. Maybe I do have to push to get people to accept my story ideas, or submit to places realllllllllly regularly if I want my work published. Maybe I do need to write out very specific goals for every day of the week if I want to accomplish something bigger, and maybe it will take one million rejections before I get a book published. I can do it, though, because this is my own show. I can write out the steps, schedule the hours, talk to the right people, move from the bed to the desk to the coffee shop, sink into a healing day of “Golden Girls” viewing, then come out the other side.

I’m thankful for these open days, full of possibility. And I’m pretty sure THAT would fit right into any gratitude journal. So who knows, maybe I will start one! (I won’t).