I got an email from my father this morning and wanted to share it with all of you. It was especially timely as I experienced a near-fainting experience while I was getting my hair cut last night, after sitting still in a chair for too long (just like when the same thing happened last time), and I was kind of like, "Wow, maybe I'm over this." I really like this image of waking up to cupcakes and all and it is, from here on out, how I am going to envision my delivery.

From: Fred Rotondaro To:Cara McDonough Date: Fri, Mar 11, 2011 at 9:36 AM Subject: If God Were a Woman

Pregnancy would last 27 days

The mom would have no weight gain. Fathers would gain approximately 5 times the weight of the child. Fathers would experience frequent gas pains.

Doctors would insist moms keep up their strength by drinking large amounts of strong red wine

On the morning of the 27th day, just before mom woke up, the child would slip quietly out of mom's left ear. As mom awoke, the child would give her coffee and cupcakes. And would turn the tv to "Morning Joe."

From then on, life would get better for mom.

If God Were A Woman.