Elixir guitar strings, now with "great tone," if you catch my drift

J bought these guitar strings recently, which he proudly displayed in the living room, and keeps going on and on about their "Polyweb" coating or whatever and how awesome they are. Seriously, look at that box! Elixir?! "Long life?!" Every single time I glance over in that direction I'm all, "Who the HELL put a box of condoms on our bookshelf?"