"Cara, will you look at that guy? What's he doing? Watering the tree?" "Yeah, Mom said that because of the drought she wants to make sure..."

"Unbelievable! We're spending God knows how much money to have 'tree experts' come to the house every other day, and put down mulch, and sing to the plants, and God knows what else, and..."

"But Dad. How much did you spend on that painting you saw in the gallery down town the other day?"

(Brief silence.)

"But that's art. That painting - that painting is going to appreciate. Look at that tree. Is that tree going to fucking APPRECIATE?"