Rest/not rest

November 2, Palermo - Today I came back to the hotel room in the late afternoon to drop off some of the things we had purchased on the quiet street my mom and I walked today, dotted with artisan’s shops.

I thought it would be a good idea to do a ten minute meditation on the Calm app to rest and center myself before I headed back out into the crowds, to the shops, the markets, the people - I was so eager to go, go, go.

I did the self-imposed quiet time while the world waited outside. But it felt like I was dying.

Paradise (for bugs and also me)

The agriturismo in Menfi was heaven; it was what I pictured when I pictured a vacation in Sicily.

I sat one morning, just after getting up, with a double espresso on the terrace overlooking the vineyards and olive trees. It was the only morning on the trip where I threw a sweatshirt over my pajama pants and took my morning coffee solo like that - because I could. There was an herb garden at my feet.

Paradise. Except for the threat of bees, which was a real one. They were ever present. Of course they love it here, too, I thought. Of course they are crucial to this thriving ecosystem.

I couldn’t, however, even with all this poetry of nature, in my head and visible all around, convince myself to completely relax and not be afraid of them. We could coexist, but I knew who was in charge.