Don’t answer people who are desperately calling out your name as though it is an emergency (it is not) while you are in the bathroom
Don’t answer people when they tell you to “look at this” when you are halfway up the stairs
Enact the “no eating in the minivan” rule, for real this time
Protect at all costs the 50 minutes of solo time in the car during twice-weekly Taekwondo sessions
More tea
More deep breathing
When a fight between children begins, resist the urge to pivot the experience into an educational one; instead, take the dog for a walk
“………..”; instead do #5 and #6
“………..”; instead, lock yourself in the bedroom, watch an episode of “Ted Lasso”
When a fight between children begins, resist the urge to pivot the experience into an educational one 50 percent of the time; the other 50 percent it’s probably ok and beneficial actually to remind them how lucky they are to have one another/hone their skills in compromise and persuasion and sit everyone down for a lecture (they love that)
Do not engage in discussions with husband about his resistance to COVID (“I just can’t get it! It’s genetic!”); reply only, “That’s really awesome for you,” then move on
Own the fact that you find QVC relaxing
No more attempts at baking (you don’t like baking!)
Write every day, ten minutes at least
Get the pandemic running group back together!
Spend time reading in the early evening to put a cap on the day and usher in the night
Fully accept that Aidy will come in to your room, well past her bedtime, 3 or 4 or 10 times with a book she’s just created on “FASHION!” or a newly formulated life plan about how she’s going to go to college in Los Angeles, then live in New York City
Opt-in to talks, walks, drinks, spas, trips and coffee dates with friends
More hikes; you do like hikes
Official proclamation that the following items are no longer up for discussion: that someone thinks what we are having for dinner that night “is not a good idea”; that the pants you wore yesterday and to bed and are trying to wear to school again now are “fine”; getting a pet bunny that will “live in my room so the dog will never see or get it”; “Let’s make crazy juices!”; detailed analysis regarding the various reasons why the quality level might have changed at any given moment on the air purifier in our room
Seek out hot tubs and saunas; seek out warm blankets and get a sectional that fits our entire family; sit together, talk about the world and all the places we would like to go
Meditate; do yoga; attend a sound bath
If the energy expended on debating whether or not you should say “no” or “maybe” or remain undecided regarding any given experience is excessive, fretful and draining - say YES

My recent bout with “the ivy,” as 5-year-old Aidy called COVID (“the virus”) when we were first in its initial, 2020 grips, provided me some serious downtime to watch TV, read, scroll on my phone…and then begin again with the TV.

Happily, since being sick, I’ve continued to enjoy more downtime. At first it was because I was still recovering and fatigued. Now it’s because…regular life is tiring too. And - although I know it’s trite - this experience provided a refresher course on how to rest. Really rest. Not “rest” while you are doing something else productive.

I, like so many of us, have spent a lot of my life preparing to rest. What I have learned is that you have to rest right now.

The rest makes you better when you aren’t well. It makes you more productive when you are busy.

Most importantly, it is so completely enjoyable in its own right.

COVID got me good, but there is no question: I enjoyed being incapable of anything for three straight days, and then not quite ready for prime time for another seven or so. It’s rare that we have the chance to hunker down like that. I took full advantage, and am looking forward to additional weather-related excuses to do the same during the upcoming Connecticut winter.

Here are some of the things I liked while I had COVID, some of the things I like now that I’m resting more often and some things that I’m looking forward to as winter approaches, our down time increases and I tell the children I’ll “be right there,” when they head out to sled across the street, then I very decidedly stay in the house.

“Bad Sisters” on Apple TV. This is a dark comedy set in Ireland, which is an excellent premise for a television show right off the bat. I was completely and immediately hooked, got J into it, and then we watched the remaining episodes as they dropped on Friday nights. Having to wait to watch the latest episode of a show is old-fashioned and thrilling in these immediacy-filled days, and we totally enjoyed the build-up.
Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi. I finished this lovely, melancholy novel in between episodes of “Bad Sisters” and “Never Have I Ever” (my other television binge while recovering). I’m planning to read “Homegoing,” another novel by Gyasi, soon.
Deleting Instagram from your phone. I tried this recently. Not because the experts tell you to. Not because I was feeling jealous of my friends’ vacations and achievements. But because I was indulging way too hard in the Instagram ads they’d specifically tailored to me in my stream. Watching reels about face serums. Listening thoughtfully to an influencer share marketing propaganda about vitamins. And I thought to myself, “Cara, is this how you want to spend even some of your precious time of this Earth?” And the answer was, “Well, maybe some, but not this much!” I deleted my social media apps while I was sick to force myself into a break. The breather was so valuable. Plus, I could fully concentrate on the tv shows, which is very possibly not the best reasoning, but still!
The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh. I read one section every morning I am able (this happened more regularly during the deleted social media period). He encourages us to only drink our tea while we are drinking our tea, and I think, all at once, “That is ridiculous/that is the answer!”
This episode of Life Kit featuring Oliver Burkeman. It’s called “How to Rethink What You Spend Your Time - and Life - Doing.”
Maintenance Phase. This is a podcast that debunks wellness and weight loss trends. It is well-researched, hilarious and fascinating, and I feel like the two hosts, Aubrey Gordon and Michael Hobbes, are my best friends. I don’t know if this happens to the rest of you with podcasts or other media, but I sometimes get so entrenched that I can’t listen to anything else; can’t waver from the particular tone and message of my current fave. This happened with “Pod Save America” during the more turbulent Trump periods, and it happened over the past few months with Maintenance Phase. Because I very much remember the influence of this particular food trend on society, I thoroughly enjoyed their episode on Snackwell’s Cookies if you want to start there.
This recent opinion piece in The New York Times: The Problem With Letting Therapy Speak Invade Everything.
Exploring sectional sofas, and hopefully buying one soon, so that our entire family can sit together and watch a movie, after we have spent over an hour debating the movie we will watch.

Self Care-Related New Year's Resolutions that may or may not be realized

Things I like: down and out edition