The job search

Lately, a bunch of people have been asking me about my job search, as in, do I even want to go back to work and, if so, am I looking around? My answer to both questions is a resounding YES, but I have to admit that after spending a year at home with Nora (for the most part) my thoughts on the whole working situation have changed - and in complex ways. I'm more reluctant to have a job that would have me working long hours and barely seeing my child weekdays. On the flip side, I'm nearly desperate from some sort of office life. I don't want to be at home all the time. Of course, making these deliberations laughable is that economy thing. The part where it got real bad, remember, and nobody has a job anymore anyway. And there certainly aren't that many jobs floating around for choosy journalist types who want to work out of the house most of the time but wouldn't mind a day at home every now and then. And could I bring my baby in sometimes? She is very cute!

In all seriousness, the job situation seems like it has picked up in recent weeks. Job boards have more listings and everyone seems more optimistic. It's fall, the traditional go-back-to-school, get-off-the-couch, make-something-of-yourself season (at least, in my opinion) and there's nothing like throwing on a sweater and jeans and visiting your favorite coffee shop for a hot drink and some dedicated career time.

Meanwhile, several people have told me that maybe I should just write a book, which is an awesome idea, and flattering, and makes me happy. And perhaps if I dedicate some of that coffee shop career time into learning how to write a successful book proposal, I could actually get on board.

Because, ok, I might have the details wrong but J.K. Rowling was living in a trash can before she wrote the Harry Potter books, right? I live in a house and sleep in a bed, so I don't think I have any excuse. I even have some legitimate book ideas, including ones centered on all the things I've learned staying at home with a baby. Honestly, I've spent some time in book stores looking at titles recently and people seem to be able to get book deals for anything. Any idea they come up with. The history of cotton candy. Pictures of elephants doing funny things. I'm pretty sure Mina could land me a book deal, in fact, with a proposal not much more involved than:

To Whom It May Concern,

I have a dog and she is exceptionally funny. She is half Pomeranian, half Miniature Pinscher.

Book deal???

Very Sincerely Yours,

Cara McDonough

Maybe I'll give it a go.

The good news is that I've been feeling accomplished lately simply doing my best on the search-and-contact front, sending editors my pieces and making connections. I'm not sure what happened in the past couple years to make my professional experience look that much more impressive, but suddenly my emails are generating warm, personal responses, instead of the old silence. Where they'd, you know, ignore me. Moving up in the world, people!

So on this beautiful fall day, when people are getting back into the swing of things at work after the summer's true end, I thought I'd ask you all how you deal with professional woes and successes. Are you working? Would you rather not be? Are you not working and dying to get back to a job? Writing about your job on the Internet isn't a bad idea at all (HA!) so you may not want to slam your boss or anything, but I'd love to hear everyone's opinions on professional life. I'm excited to get some coffee and spend time discussing it with you.

364 days

Man, there is a lot of stuff you can worry about when you have a baby. You can delve into though processes you never thought yourself capable of. Like maybe she wakes up in the middle of the night for no reason when she is seven months old. And she hasn't woken up in the middle of the night in, like, forever, and you all of a sudden find yourself wondering what in the name of God you did wrong the night before. Was the bedtime routine not thorough enough? Is she too hot in those pajamas? Too cold? What the hell are you going to do if it happens again? Leave her to cry? Pick her up? But then, if you pick her up, will she expect the same thing the next night? If you leave her to cry will she develop an attachment disorder? The thing is that the baby, most likely, woke up because of a random sound, or an upset tummy, or for no reason at all and all the worrying in the world will have absolutely zero impact on the incident. The baby is healthy and happy and taken care of. Because, of course, you're a good parent.

This first year of being a parent, I've had plenty of those moments. Sometimes they last all day. While I've felt much more confident as a mother each and every month, it's really taken me the entire year to realize just how wrapped up you can get in all the concerns and questions. Wrapped up in the minor details, when you could be doing something a lot more fun.

My mother told me this one story that really exemplifies the kind of behavior I'm talking about. When I was little I went to a preschool that was a co-op, as in the parents had to contribute snacks and go to meetings and whatnot. According to my Mom, one of these parent meetings consisted largely of discussing the fact that someone had brought in Jiffy peanut butter for a recent snack. Jiffy peanut butter, people. Jiffy fucking peanut butter.

My Mom, whose sense of pragmatism is above and beyond, said she sat there in disbelief, wondering how in the world this group of mothers could possibly spend 30 or 40 minutes discussing the evil inherent that is Jiffy peanut butter, in all it's non-organic, non-local, sugar-added glory. How could it possibly be so important, especially in the grand scheme of these families' lives and all the positive aspects thereof? How could such a little thing matter so much?

I'm not making fun of anyone. As a matter a fact, I get it. It makes so much sense that those moms got all riled up about the peanut butter, and they totally had a right to their opinions. But I'm reflecting on my own experience here and I have learned a few lessons. Honestly, the first time I gave Nora something with added sugar, I was like, "Well, there goes the purity of her palate." Really. Now I recognize that line of thought as, well, crazy. It's crazy!

Everybody knows that a little caution never hurts and, in fact, when dealing with an infant, is beneficial. They're fragile and they don't know that, for instance, crawling off a bed and falling onto the floor would result in serious pain. And it's important to feed your child healthy food that you believe in. And to make sure they learn the manners that you think it's important for them to learn.

But the more time I spend worrying about the minor details - the ones that I know really don't matter - the less time we are doing something else. Whatever else. And there is so much to do! And so many places to go!

Also, I don't want to lose myself in all this. I'm Nora's Mom, totally, but I'm also, you know, me. The me that I was before all this. I will tell you right now that my mother is the best mother a person has ever had, no question. But you know what? She is also the most successful woman I know. She's a funny story teller. She's got awesome style. She makes the world a better place.

I want to be a Mom like my Mom. There's no time to worry about the peanut butter, there is fun to be had! After all, the good times are the ones we'll remember.