Tue 13 May 2008
In which my love affair with Metro North comes to an abrupt end
Posted by Cara under general , on the roadWhen my alarm went off Monday morning, it just wasn’t a good scene. I was that kind of tired where you feel like punching somebody. You know, because you are so tired. And that seems like the only logical solution.
I somehow made it out of the bed and into the shower, into my clothes and into the car so J could get me to the station for the 6:53 train to New York City. And the minute I’d boarded and settled in to my window seat, I leaned my head against the wall in hopes of getting a little more sleep before the work day began.
I drifted off for a while, as the seats next to me filled up and the car got more and more crowded, and I came to sometime after we’d stopped in Fairfield and were on the express route to Grand Central.
I was hot when I woke up. Like, really extremely hot. They’d jacked up the heat that morning, I suppose because of the unseasonably cold temperatures, and I’d been leaning against the vent as I slept. I took off the cardigan I was wearing, but that didn’t help. I kept getting hotter. Then my stomach didn’t feel quite right. Then my vision started to go a little blurry. I realized I was about to pass out or something.
You know what the worst place to be is if you feel like you’re going to pass out or something? The window seat of the three seater aisle on a crowded train that is on the express route to New York City and won’t be stopping anytime soon.
I knew I needed to lie down. I mean, it wasn’t as though I was going to die or anything, I was fully conscious, and not even panicking, I just needed to lie down. But, of course, I came to the awful realization that if I wanted to lie down, I was going to have to make at least a little bit of a scene, because those ladies sitting next to me? They were going to have to move.
I tried my best to get over it. I sat back, took some deep breaths and closed my eyes, but I just felt worse, so I resigned myself to the inevitable, and in my most polite voice, told the women that I “didn’t feel very well, sort of like I’m about to pass out, and I’m five months pregnant, and would you mind getting the conductor for me?”
Great, I thought, now everyone knows. No one made too much of a fuss though, thank God, as I put my head down and pulled my knees up towards my chest, as my seat companions, who’d graciously and quickly gotten up to make room for me, suggested.
Within seconds I felt 100 percent better. I guess I just needed to put my head down, like I’d thought, so my circulation could get back to normal. But I’d already set the wheels in motion, as I knew would happen when I realized I had to go public, and a few minutes later the conductor (Why had I asked for the conductor? It had seemed like the right thing, but what could he really do for me?) appeared in the aisle with a banana and a bottle of water.
I sincerely like most of the Metro North conductors I’ve met, but this one could not have been more unfriendly. He all but threw the items at me, told me to “eat that,” and away he went, almost as though he had seen it all before and I was just another pregnant woman causing problems on the train, and couldn’t I see he was busy? And how could I have let this happen?
I did what he said, though, peeled the banana and started to eat, because I figured it could only help, and I was taking my first bite I saw a very tall gentleman walking through the train car, calling out, “Where is the girl who is not feeling well?” and I had to raise my hand and say, “Oh, that’s me,” despite kind of wanting to jump out the window. Jumping out the window at that point seemed like the best option.
The man was very nice, though, I’ve got to admit, and asked if I’d like him to test my blood sugar levels, to see if maybe I was hypoglycemic, and I said sure, and was offering my index finger as I finished the rest of the banana, when I realized I had no idea who in the world this man was, and stopped him so I could ask, “Wait, are you a doctor?”
A registered nurse, he replied, and I happily gave him back my hand.
My blood sugar was fine, I was fine, and we all returned to our regular activities.
When I got to Grand Central I called my doctor’s office to ask them if I should be concerned, and the nurse told me that feeling faint while pregnant is actually fairly common, that I’d done the right thing by lying down and that she was nearly positive nothing was wrong, but since this was my first pregnancy and it had never happened to me before, maybe I should come in for a quick visit that afternoon and get checked out.
So I called my office and told them I’d be taking a sick day, I called J and asked him if he could pick me up in a couple hours, I got a scone, so no one could accuse me of not eating enough, and I got right back on the train heading back towards New Haven.
The rest of the day was rather uneventful and even pleasant. I slept almost the entire train ride home. J picked me up, got me some lunch and made sure I was ok, and I slept a little more before he took me to my appointment, where he patiently waited with me, sitting on a chair in the corner while I sat up on the examination table, for the doctor to show. We laughed, thinking up ridiculous baby names.
After a quick check - my blood pressure and the baby’s heart rate were both just fine - the doctor declared that “pregnant women are simply more prone to fainting.” I told her that yes, I’d heard that. We talked about the fact that I’ve been really good about eating enough, but probably didn’t get enough breakfast before leaving the house that morning, and how if I felt that way again, the best thing to do is lie down, like I did, although if it happens again on the train I’m probably going to opt for the jumping out the window routine.
I didn’t like what happened, not at all. Besides being a pretty stressful way to spend the morning, I don’t like feeling weak, and even though I’m well aware that “pregnant women are simply more prone to fainting,” I, personally, like to think I can somehow avoid it anyway. That maybe I’m somehow better and stronger than everyone else.
Which, of course, I’m not.
When annoying or bad things like this happen, I like to at least try and look for a positive, and there are a couple in this instance. I caught up on some sleep I probably badly needed, for one thing.
There were also a few wonderful moments of female unity in the midst of all the commotion that morning. One of the women sitting next to me reassuringly told me that she’d fainted on the train when she was pregnant so she understood, and the other, who had been sitting on the far end of our row and had gone to find the conductor for me, told me upon returning to her seat that some man she’d encountered in another car had the nerve to say that “They shouldn’t allow pregnant women on the train.”
She told me she looked right at him and asked “And how many babies have you had?” Then she smiled at me and said in a conspiratorial whisper, “If men had to have babies, the world would end.”
May 14th, 2008 at 7:46 am
i love that last ladies comment. in my phd program, where we sit around and look at structural gender bias, i have often mentioned that pregnancy is not an inconvienance- society makes it such. maybe in another universe, there are trains with cars designed for dizzy pregnant woman (think comfy beds with people fanning you).
your day on the train sounds really tough, i am glad you feel better. i have some health problems that have developed since high school, and getting sick in public is embarrassing and tough. if it helps, i just think it must happen to everyone and the people who aren’t sympathetic have stone hearts.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:29 am
I knew that the love affair with the railroad (my employer) would have to end some day. On behalf of all the conductors, I apologize for my brethrens rude behavior. I am impressed, however, that he gave you a bottle of water and a banana. It’s not like we have a pregnat lady emergency kit filled with water and bananas.
May 15th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Wow, talk about reality check. Even after all the stories you hear and movies you watch, you always figure that it’s not going to happen to you… but then miraculously when it does, you don’t die like you thought you would. Hopefully this is the worst bump you hit along the way. And like Bobby, I’m surprised they had anything to give you at all.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
You should never feel bad about asking for help if you feel you are fainting - that is *exactly* what you should do.
Be careful not to stand close to the edge of the platform when waiting for the train or subway.
Sorry the conductor was a shmutz - although I am impressed he showed up with a banana and water.
Sometimes the head between the knees doesnt do it - dont be afraid to get on your back and put your legs up in the air if your doc says its ok:
http://www.stationstops.com/2008/01/23/i-was-a-good-samaritan-today-on-the-6-line/
May 15th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
I crapped out so bad that I am not even allowed to drive more than 10 minutes (but that ends this month, cool). But I had no problem pulling the panic string when I knew I was going down like a racehorse with two broken ankles. The cool thing was for me that everyone from the state trooper, to my family, to paramedics to the emergency room was almost acting like they were glad I just asked for help. But I was sitting in the back of an ambulance apologizing, and the paramedic said something I will never forget, “It’s your emergency, so relax and enjoy it because we’re all here to serve you at this point.” It’s so corny, but it’s true. I had no reason to say “I’m sorry about passing out on the freeway.” Dang it…something is wrong and screw all the protocal.
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May 16th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Glad to hear you are okay!
Once, back when I was working in DC I had a similar experience - though I was not pregnant at the time. I think I might have been a little sick - maybe a cold or something. The Metro car was full and I did not get a seat. I was stuck standing right in the middle of the aisle and got that hot, sweaty, nauseus feeling. Luckily I was able to make it to my stop and get off the train before throwing up in my lunchbag. That was totally embarrasing. Then I had to find a trash can to throw it away in - this was right after 9/11 when they took away all of the trashcans in the world. I finally found one and continued on to work. The last thing I wanted to do was get back on the Metro. (And I still miss the tupperware that I threw away with my lunch.)