I was just editing one of the millions of magnificently constructed cover letters I’ll be sending out over the next couple days in the hopes of convincing Connecticut that, yes, I’m a really good bet, when the spellcheck feature on my Yahoo email account alerted me to the fact that the “caramcdonough” in my email address was not a recognized English word and suggested I change it to “crackdown.”

I was about to press the “ignore” button and laugh it off as another amusing computer anecdote when I thought it might be even better and funnier if I just went ahead and gave myself a new name like “Crackdown,” and how there is no way anyone in their right minds would refuse someone with such a name because, hey, they have GOT to be curious about somebody like that…